When it came time to shop for a wedding dress, I tried to stay true to all the rules and guidelines that I’d stuck to for so long. I just revealed them all in this post. But it turned out that when I finally found the perfect wedding dress for my body type, it broke all the rules.
A Little Background
I never dreamed of a wedding. That was not my fairytale.
Not because I didn’t want to get married. But because for most of my life I wasn’t legally able to marry my true love. When marriage equality became law, Elizabeth and I decided to move immediately (before anything changed) to plan our wedding.
We met on New Year’s Eve and we loved our anniversary. So, we wanted to get married on New Year’s Eve with all our friends and family present. We set a date, booked a venue (The Allerton Hotel in Chicago) and commenced the planning. And, began searching for our wedding dresses.
Follow the Rules
As I wrote about in this post, I have a set of style rules that I follow to compensate for the peculiarities of my body. Due to a curvature of my spine (scoliosis) I have one shoulder that is visibly lower than the other and I struggle with my posture. I have a small, but high waist and hips that get wide abruptly (think guitar shape).
Over the years, I’ve adapted my style to compensate for these characteristics. In order to disguise them, I wear structured clothes like collars, button-down shirts, lots of layers, scarves/wraps, wear my hair shoulder length, wear mid-rise, flair or cropped pants to balance my hips, etc.
I was not at all sure these rules were going to apply wedding dress shopping, but I needed to find the perfect dress for my body type.
Will the Rules Translate?
As I looked through bridal magazines I tried to apply my style guidelines to wedding dresses. The vibe I wanted was chic and elegant. But how to achieve that with my “rules”? As I started the search, directionally I was thinking these characteristics might replicate my rules:
- Asymmetry — Some sort of asymmetry at the neckline might work? Draping, or even one shoulder was worth a try.
- Rushing — This gathered fabric effect could also be used to draw attention and balance my shoulders and hips.
- Fabric — Definitely a more crisp, structured fabric and design. (I’m not the loose flowy type anyway.)
- Shrug/Wrap — Maybe I could replicate my wrap layer with a more dressed up shrug or wrap that complemented my dress.
On the Hunt — for the Perfect Wedding Dress for my Body Type
I was fortunate to be able to have the classic wedding dress shopping experience with my Mom and Sister. I had made appointments at wedding boutiques all over the city.
The final place we went to was Palazzo, a bridal boutique where all the designs are original and hand-made in Chicago. We were the only ones in the store and the owner/designer Jane Hamidi showed us some gowns. She looked at me and pulled a few dresses. They were all amazing, but not quite right.
I wandered around looking at some of the other dresses hanging in the showroom. One that caught my eye had an absolutely stunning ribbed corset top. I said, “What about this one?” and she said, “Try it on”.
Something absolutely magical happened. I put the dress on and said to myself, “This is MY fairytale”. As I walked out of the dressing room my Mom, Sister and Jane all said, “That’s it.”
I said YES to the DRESS!
The Perfect Wedding Broke all the Rules
Rules are made to be broken! This dress broke all the rules I’ve lived by, adapting my style to my body type. It bared my back and my shoulders. I wore my hair up. It showed off my waist, but in a way that was balanced. I never would have worn a strapless dress – and this one had a corset top with just a small string that tied around my neck. It was truly magic. I felt like it was made for my body. And I truly felt beautiful in it.
Elizabeth’s Dress
Jane understood that we were two women getting married and that we wanted to compliment each other. We also didn’t want to see each other’s dress before the reveal moment. Elizabeth went to Palazzo with her Mom and sisters and found her dress. Very different from mine, but complimentary and perfect for her.
Panic at the Disco
We coordinated a time to pick up our dresses with the shop owner. She and her husband were leaving town for the New Year’s weekend. The shop was closed except for a small window of time for us and another bride to pick up our dresses. That bride was leaving for a destination wedding in Mexico.
We picked up our dresses on Thursday and headed straight to our suite at The Allerton. Both dresses were in opaque white bags so we couldn’t see each other’s dress. The bags were labeled Jennifer and Elizabeth. Once we were in our suite, after getting settled, I peeked in my dress bag. THAT WAS NOT MY DRESS!!
I called the shop and no one answered. I left a message, but I knew they were off to enjoy their New Year’s weekend.
Time to Deploy My Superpower
Now is a good time to tell you about my superpower. I have a MacGyver-like ability to be resourceful. Not in the physical, make-something-out-of-nothing sense. But in the creatively circle-the-problem-and-attack kind of way. I did not have the Jane’s cell number, and needed to get in touch with her or my dress would be on it’s way to Mexico!
At the time, Palazzo was located on the 2nd floor in one of the retail brownstones on Oak Street in Chicago. I remembered that the first floor shop was Jack Spade (the menswear line by Kate Spade that’s now defunct). So, I called that store and told the manager my saga, hoping he had the phone numbers of his upstairs neighbors. He did not. I asked if he could give me the number of their landlord, who would surely have their cell numbers. He would not. He wanted to call to ask permission first and would call me back. Fair enough.
This was a truly good person and he did, in fact, call me back and told me the landlord would call the Palazzo people and they would be in touch. After about 30 nervous minutes, I got a phone call from the owners of Palazzo. They were terribly sorry, and they had gotten in touch with the other bride. They picked up my dress and brought it to the Allerton. Within 3 nerve-wracking hours we exchanged dresses and disaster was averted!!
A Magical New Year’s
The feeling of your family and dearest friends all gathered in one place to celebrate our love and commitment is like nothing I’d ever experienced. And nothing I ever imagined I would experience. We got married on our 15th anniversary. I was so grateful for this moment. So grateful for the journey, which made it all the more sweet.
And now, as I write this I’m able to relive it a bit. Looking through our wedding photos, I see people who have now passed, and others who are old and frail. The love and emotion that I felt that night come right back.
Such precious memories. So grateful.
WETSU! WETSU!
XO JT
